Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 19, 2004.

Early in my working career I was asked to write a short article about the company softball team for my employer's newsletter. Because of a certain mental condition that does not allow me to do things the way you are supposed to do them, I wrote the article in verse. And to add just a little fun, I wrote it in such a way that at the end of a stanza I substituted an acceptable, but un-rhyming word for the ribald word that did rhyme. The ol' "rah rah ree, kick 'em in the knee; rah rah rass, kick 'em in the other knee" approach. The newsletter editor thought this was very funny.

But somewhere along the line, somebody nixed the idea, which was certainly their right. But instead of consulting with me to for a rewrite, the editor changed the words that would have rhymed with the naughty words. So it became something like, "Rah rah ree, kick 'em in the knee; rah rah rill, kick 'em in the other knee." It made no sense.

And there was "John Auchter" proudly displayed as the byline above that slop. I was left looking like a real dumb-"other knee." I decided at that point not to write any more articles for company newsletters.

But I do draw editorial cartoons and sometimes there are miscommunications with them, too. This week's comic ran in the Biz Journal with the editors substituting the words "right wing" for "my church." For those keeping score, I wrote "my church" because I meant "my church." And although "right-wing" at least approximated my sediment, it was *not* what I meant. Yet, my name remained on the comic. (Eighteen years later and it's the same crappy feeling I'm feeling in the pit of my stomach.)

My specific problem with “right wing” is that it is much too squishy and vague, and it only perpetuates inane, polarizing speech like “tax and spend liberal” and “neo-fascist conservative” that passes for political dialogue these days. I chose “my church” because I literally meant my Catholic church that sent a taped message from the bishop a week ago Sunday telling us what we should vote for.

I thought up the comic and considered the fairness and potential controversy. I decided to draw it for two reasons: One, I wasn't just religion-bashing from afar -- as a practicing Catholic, I’m on the inside. And two, if I were drawing for, say, the Secular Humanist Business Journal, I probably would have led with the Kerry/Springsteen aside -- if you’re in the majority (as Christians claim to be in West Michigan) you can take (and need to take) the biggest hit.

So now that we've gotten that straight, let me get to my point: If you intend to vote for somebody or some proposal next week just because your minister or favorite pop star told you to, I respectfully request that you consider not voting at all. Why? Because not thinking for yourself is really, really stupid. And I wrote "stupid" because I meant "stupid."