Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 22, 2004.

Recently there have been some new laws, regulations, and treaties bandied about among the eight states that adjoin the Great Lakes (as well as Ontario and Quebec) concerning efforts to control the use of the lakes' water. The Great Lakes represent 1/5 of the world's fresh water supply, and as populations grow and people doubtlessly build new homes in semi-arid areas, the pressure is only going to grow use my water. (What's the famous Sam Kinison line, "We have desserts in America, too. We just don’t *live* in them!!!"? Well, guess what -- Las Vegas is a dessert, it's growing like crazy, and they're only going to get thirstier.)

I say "my water" because I live in Michigan, and so it is my water. Also, I have an intimate relationship with this water. It's in my skies 280 days a year blocking out the sun. It's all around my house (as my sump pump going off every two minutes reminds me). And today it began the season of freezing and hurling itself everywhere I walk and drive. It's not easy to live among this water and so I dislike the idea of blue-sky, fun-in-the-sun dry-landers grabbing a cheap drink and a toilet flush whenever they please. You want the water? You shovel the snow first, baby!

But that's not what this week's comic is about. It's actually about gay marriage. Surprise! You thought we were done talking about this, but, nope, it's still playing in my head as it is, apparently, with certain folks who want to push hard for a federal constitutional ban.

In this week's comic, I have a pony-tailed Hollywood producer type (almost certainly liberal) arguing the side of "majority rules" to demonstrate that people just might find they don't like that argument if they themselves are on the minority side. If a majority of Americans want to siphon Great Lakes water, should we do it for that reason alone? Of course not! There are huge economic and environmental issues to consider. It may be popular, but that doesn't make it right. That's my argument.

Now I will say this: Hopefully, in these few weeks between election seasons, we can talk about this in a less emotional way. I think those who would like to see gay marriage legalized have to respect and acknowledge people's religious feelings on the subject. Nobody likes to have something they find distasteful shoved in their face.

For instance, I don't ever want to have to see a Cirque du Soleil show. I don't want to ever vacation in Branson, Missouri. And I don't ever want to tour a veal farm. I have no firsthand knowledge of these things, but the mere thought of them makes me queasy. Perhaps if I were a more free-thinking person I could. But in these cases, I wear the badge of closed-minded prejudice with pride. So, yeah, I understand how being forced to discuss homosexuality could be unpleasant for some. Hold that thought.

I’ve been searching for some historical context for all this, and I believe I found it. In 1858, Abraham Lincoln ran against Stephan Douglas for a US Senate seat from Illinois. In the course of their campaign, they had several debates, which became famous for framing the issue of slavery. Here are some quotes from a PBS American Experience documentary called “The Time of the Lincolns.”

“Stephan Douglas argued, ‘I go for the principle of the Kansas-Nebraska Act -- the right of the people to decide for themselves....’ Lincoln countered that Douglas' reliance on majority rule was morally bankrupt. Lincoln takes Douglas' argument that says that what the people in the territories decide is up to them. It's a democracy. If they vote for slavery, so be it. That's majority rule. And he says, ‘No. There's an independent standard of right and wrong that's more important than the majority vote. Slavery is wrong.’”

Okay, that’s good. That’s the Lincoln we learned about in school. He’s righteous and history approves. But it gets better:

“‘Are you in favor of conferring upon the Negro the rights and privileges of citizenship?’ Douglas asked Lincoln. Lincoln replies: ‘I have no purpose to introduce political and social equality between the white and the black races. There is a physical difference between the two, which, in my judgment, will probably forever forbid their living together on the footing of perfect equality. He is not my equal in many respects, certainly not in color, perhaps not in intellectual or moral endowment. But in the right to eat the bread... which his own hand earns, he is my equal and the equal of Judge Douglas and the equal of every other man.’”

Now if you come out of that thinking "sounds awfully flip-floppy to me" then I've lost you. Go on with your life and I'll never bother you with this again. But if not, read on.

By today's standards, Lincoln's words sound, well, racist. But for a politician in 1858 it was incredibly progressive considering it was only white guys who were going to be voting. Lincoln not only transcends the safe ground of majority rules and “that’s the way it has always been,” but he also acknowledges and then transcends his own personal bias to grasp a greater truth: in the end, a citizen is a citizen. So you may not like the idea of gay couples and you may question their “intellectual or moral endowment,” but they are American citizens and they most certainly should have equal access to the benefits entitled to any other American citizen.

Final note: I don’t want to oversell myself and give you the impression that I walk around with the complete Lincoln/Douglas debates in my head. Truth be told, Jane and I were watching football with our 8 year-old son a couple of Sundays ago when (as happens every five minutes) the game went to commercial. I flipped over to PBS and by chance caught the Lincoln documentary till my son remembered about the football game. We always change the station during commercials so our children don’t have to endure the Fox promos of guns blazing, body parts exploding, and people shoving their tongues down other people’s throats. Turns out I’m a social conservative. Who knew?

If you’re interested in the full transcript of the documentary, go to: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/lincolns/filmmore/pt_2.html